Learn How To Love Yourself

Published on October 12th, 2015

Updated on January 3rd, 2024

Woman Smiling In Field

Self-love is a vital part of self-esteem, and if you struggle with low self-esteem, then you know how negatively it can impact your life.

To move to a place of increased happiness and reach a sense of peacefulness, you must start with loving yourself. However, this is easier said than done. If it wasn’t, we would all be floating through life on a happy cloud.

Achieving self-love is a process, but if you come to a place where you can accept and love yourself (at least the majority of the time!) you may find that life looks a bit brighter. Self-love can create a sense of overall joy, fulfillment, and even increased resilience. These are especially helpful during difficult and stressful times.

Identify Your Feelings and Emotions

People frequently shy away from acknowledging (let alone expressing) their feelings and emotions. It can be uncomfortable, so instead of recognizing what we are feeling, we often push those emotions down, letting them fester and build up.

Approaching your feelings and emotions differently can be a first step to self-love. Checking in with yourself throughout the day and pinpointing what you are feeling, is a way to embrace your emotions.

Practice Self-Care

Taking better care of yourself is one of the easiest ways to approach self-love, but also one of the easiest things to ignore when life gets busy. When you take better care of your needs through practicing self-care (getting enough sleep, eating right, engaging socially, etc.) you will feel better. This will make it easier to love who you are.

Man With Arms Raises In Front Of Lake

Explore Your Self-Image

How do you describe yourself? Intelligent, stupid, beautiful, ugly, kind, the list goes on to the labels we assign to ourselves. Yet, no one’s self-image is stable throughout his or her entire life.

You have probably had times in your life where you experience a more positive self-image, and times where that same self-image has taken a nosedive, causing you to feel badly about yourself. But this is common; the nature of self-image is to change over time.

Identifying how you view yourself provides a window into what is affecting your self-esteem, and therefore, what areas you could work on towards increased self-love.

Learn To Accept Compliments

If you struggle with self-love, then chances are you have trouble accepting compliments. It is important to understand why you deflect compliments in the first place. Maybe you are attempting to appear modest, or you discount the compliment because you do not trust the person giving the compliment. Or perhaps there is another reason. Whatever the reason, accepting compliments isn’t always easy. The important thing is to recognize the positive others see in you.

Allow those things to be a part of your own self-image. Here are some ways that may help you accept compliments more easily:

Accepting compliments is like assertiveness training. Assertive individuals are typically aware of their worth and have a healthy level of self-love.
Accepting a compliment by giving a compliment. Being open to receiving a compliment is sending the message that you trust the other person’s word, which in a sense, is a compliment in its own way.
Make a plan. How will you accept compliments in the future? Having a go-to phrase such as “Thank you, that is so kind” is a way to feel more confident when receiving compliments. (A simple smile also does the trick!)

Accept Your Flaws

As human beings, we often recognize our weaknesses and shortcomings. Maybe you have had your flaws pointed out by a significant other, friend, teacher, or family member. Or perhaps you are just inherently aware of the areas in which you could improve. Whatever the case, just because you have identified your flaws, does not necessarily mean you have accepted them.

Accepting your flaws allows you to spend less time and energy focusing on what you do not like about yourself, thus giving you room to discover your strengths and what you love about yourself.

Celebrate Your Strengths

Have you ever noticed that looking at the negative side of things is often easier? If this rings true, you aren’t alone. The negative aspects of situations, events, and people (including ourselves) are typically more prevalent in our minds due to the strong emotions that come along with them. But celebrating the positive parts of yourself (your strengths) is much more beneficial when it comes to self-love.

Take a moment and reflect on what you like about yourself, not just physically, but also in your personality, your abilities, your relationships, etc.

Now that you have acknowledged some of your strengths, here are some things that you can do to celebrate them:

Pick one of your identified strengths and examine where it shows up in your life and how it makes your life better.
Acknowledge how your strengths have contributed to success in your life, whether it be in relationships, jobs, home life, or other areas.
Talk with your friends and family about each other’s strengths and successes. Hearing feedback from loved ones is reaffirming.

Getting to know who you are, taking time for yourself, and exploring your strengths and weaknesses are all parts of happiness and mental wellness.