About

Hi there, I'm Charlie! My name is Charlie Ruff (She, her). I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (38646) who sees individuals and couples via Telehealth. People often experience anxiety and depression regarding their relationships. I particularly enjoy helping my clients talk to themselves and their partners about their concerns in ways that help them de-escalate and create a secure bond. My approach My approach with both individuals and couples is Emotionally Focused Therapy, an evidenced-based therapy for couples as evaluated by Division 12 of the American Psychological Association according to 1998 guidelines. My focus I help couples identify the negative cycle that characterizes most of their arguments. We then practice new ways of communicating concerns in session so that couples and individuals can use them outside of session. As couples get more skilled in talking about reactive feelings, they are then able to share more vulnerable feelings, longings, and needs which brings them closer together and enables them to feel more secure about their relationship. My communication style I encourage clients to share their own experiences rather than criticizing, blaming, accusing their partners, or giving them the silent treatment. I do so in such a way that all of us are more understanding and empathetic to the life experiences that brought each to the present moment. My journey to mental healthcare I was teaching in a community college writing center and began to notice that I was most interested in talking with my students about the life experiences they shared in their essays. I found a counseling program and ultimately moved to the Bay Area to finish my training there. A few years after I was licensed, I joined a program to provide services to military service members and their families on bases in the continental United States and in Europe, one of the islands, Hawaii and Alaska during the wars in the Middle East.