What Really Holds Relationships Together? It’s Not Love
Relationships are challenging. They come with many fun and tender moments, along with many fond memories. Relationships are something that people cherish. Healthy couples value their relationship and make it a priority to maintain.
People tend to think of a relationship as a bond between two people that is held together by love. It is assumed that as long as there is love in a relationship, it will withstand all hurdles. This impression comes from a number of influences. Music, media and novels often revolve around the concept of love.
The portrayal of love consists of a passion that never dies, and a love that will certainly last forever. While a romantic sentiment, it stems far from reality. While love, lust, passion and excitement are often part of a relationship, they are not the only things that hold a relationship together.
The reality is that love is an emotion that can be felt at varying degrees at different points in a relationship. Passion and excitement only happens in moments that create memories, and lust will likely fade with time for many couples. None of these qualities are necessarily consistent, and do not naturally stick in a relationship. They all require maintenance, and motivation from both partners to work for keeping between each other.
Love is needed in a successful relationship. The experience and intensity of love will grow, fade, ignite and change throughout the course of the relationship. To keep love alive, both partners must be committed and motivated to work toward nurturing their love. Considering this, it is understandable how love alone cannot be the only indicator of a successful relationship. Love alone cannot hold a relationship together.
This article will discuss other key components that go into the success of a relationship. In order for a relationship to be held together, it will take time, commitment, common interests, common goals, complementary qualities and love. With each of these components a foundation is created for a successful relationship.
Similar Life Values
Values are a critical part of a relationship. Everyone has values in life. Values can be moral, financial, goal-oriented or related to lifestyle. While no relationship has two partners with the exact same values, it is important for a couple to have common values.
Common value provides a point for the couple to relate to each other. It allows a couple to explore common interests and promotes teamwork. Common values also provide a strong natural connection with one another.
While most successful relationships have common values between partners, not all values need to match. It is okay to have values that are different than your partner’s values. It is also okay to care about a cause and know that your partner does not feel the same way.
It is unrealistic to assume that either partner in a relationship will adopt all of the values of the other. Values can be learned from each other. Partners can engage in and adopt the values of their partner. They can also learn to respect their partners’ values, even if they do not relate to them themselves.
Complementary Life Goals
Being on the same page when it comes to life goals is an important part of having a strong relationship. Having similar life goals is important, and supporting each other’s life goals will be a huge factor as to how strongly your relationship is held together.
Partners in a relationship do not need to have identical life goals in order to be compatible. Each partner’s life goals can complement each other. The bigger picture of what each partner wants the future to look like is what is important. Just like how both partners do not need to have the same values, they also do not need to be on the same path.
Some partners may focus on career while others focus on family. In Many cases these differing goals can complement each other. As long as the bigger picture is similar for both partners, the relationship can last for decades.
On the same token, partners who have life goals that will lead them in different directions will struggle to maintain their relationship. For example, if one partner wants a family, and the other wants a life of travel, the relationship itself may not survive. The two partners have goals because they want different experiences in their lives. Finding a middle ground between the two can be challenging. There is room for compromise in such situations, but the differing goals and outcomes of those goals will make the relationship challenging.
Commitment To Preserving The Relationship
More than anything else, commitment to the relationship is what holds it together. Motivation and commitment to sticking together through the fun times and rough times is critical for a successful relationship. Each partner must be prepared for the challenges that come with being together. Not every moment will be filled with love and excitement.
In fact, most relationships hit points that are more challenging. During these times, the couple must be committed to working hard to keep the relationship alive. Sometimes love and passion will be dull and difficult to maintain. In such times, it takes effort and patience to preserve the quality of the relationship.