Ways To Revive Your Relationship
If you’re struggling in your relationship right now, it may be because the spark is gone. That initial, mind-blowing chemistry you experienced in the early days of your romance has fizzled to a dull, low-burning ember. When you first met each other you could think of little else. What were initially cute quirks of theirs have become annoying habits that make you want to roll your eyes. Now that the thrill is gone, you may be wondering if it’s time to call it quits. Before you jump to any decisions, take some time to learn ways you can revive your relationship before throwing in the towel.
First, it’s important to realize it’s not unusual for relationships to experience this lull in attraction. Relationships change as you become more comfortable and familiar with each other. Once the newness wears off and you become a normal part of each other’s everyday life, you lose some of the thrill. Even if they are an important part of your life and you love them, it’s not a completely new and exciting experience anymore.
Jobs, bills, children, chores, friends, and a long list of other things naturally require your attention and for this reason, it can become easy to spend less and less time focusing on the quality of your time together. Rather than focusing on all of the positive aspects of the relationship, you may find that your focus shifts to their imperfections.
Here are four approaches you can immediately start putting in place to bring back the romance, feelings of attention and desire, and overall pleasure of your relationship.
Learn to Communicate Better
Learning good communication skills can go a long way in making a relationship work. When the spark is gone you need to have skills like communication in order to keep a relationship going strong. There is a difference in talking “at” each other and effective communication. It’s crucial that you understand the basics of non-verbal communication, active listening, and “I” statements.
This will help you get through disagreements without causing major fights, and will allow you to communicate what you need from each other.
Remember that your significant other is not a mind reader. It’s easy to think that they know what you need when you need it, but they probably don’t. If they’re not doing for you what you want and you’re not telling them, the only person you can blame is yourself.
Early in a relationship, we’re more likely to express praise and gratitude when our partner performs routine tasks like making a meal or putting up a shelf.
As time goes on, however, we become so accustomed to our partner doing certain things that we start to take their helpful acts for granted. Sure, you might complain when your partner forgets to take out the trash, but do you thank them when they remember? Do you feel genuine appreciation that they’re doing their part in your life together and let them know it? Just because you expect something, does not mean you shouldn’t be grateful for it.
Give them compliments. Praise them in front of others. Take a moment to notice all that you love and cherish about your partner. Even when you feel irritated by your partner, pause to reflect on how the very qualities that irritate you the most are also the ones that make your partner so special to you. Allow yourself to bask in the gratitude for all of the differences between you and your partner. Appreciate all that makes your partner unique and how those qualities have captivated your interest and love.
Have Fun Together
Many couples have great memories of having really funny times together. But what happens to those memories? They just get left in the back closet of the mind, gathering dust. But research tells us that couples who regularly reminisce about funny times develop stronger relationships.
If you want to have a little bit of fun and are looking to bond closer together, try The New York Times “36 Questions That Lead To Love.” Play a fun board game. Be sexually adventurous. While you can’t expect that fuzzy sensation to last forever, you can revisit the places where the butterflies started. Share your funniest memories and best times.
Forgiveness can be defined as the decision to let go of resentment, anger, and thoughts of revenge as a result of a real, or perceived offense, hurt, or wrongdoing against you.
Forgiving someone does not mean denying a person’s responsibility for hurting you, nor does it mean minimizing or justifying the act. Acknowledge the event, acknowledge the anger, frustration and myriad of emotions, but do not get stuck in that place. Practice stress management techniques such as exercise, yoga, deep breathing, guided meditations, or anything else you find soothing and relaxing.
Remind yourself that whatever happened, happened, and that there is no reason to drag the past into your future. Lingering on hurtful memories only perpetuates them. Be mindful that forgiveness is a process, not a result, so perform small, daily acts that are reflective of your need to release the anger and bitterness.