The Strongest Predictors Of Romantic Relationship Quality

Published on September 24th, 2024

What Really Holds Relationships Together? It's Not Love

For most people, a major life goal is to be in a healthy and successful relationship. To many, a successful relationship is filled with love, passion, and adventure. Influences from popular culture have sent the message that a successful relationship has:

A passion that never dies
A lust that is intense and withstanding
A love that stands the test of time

It is an attractive picture, but most successful relationships are not like those in movies and novels. To have a strong relationship, there will need to be more than just love. The couple will need to commit to making the relationship work. The following predictors can help indicate the quality of a romantic relationship:

Willingness To Compromise

Every relationship comes with two partners. Because each partner is different and unique, they will have unique needs. Partners will agree on some needs but not agree with others.

Having Similar Values (and adopting each other’s values)

Values are a critical part of a relationship. Everyone has values in life. Values can be moral, financial, goal-oriented, or related to lifestyle. While no relationship has two partners with identical values, a couple needs common or complementary values.

Common values provide a point for the couple to relate to each other. It allows a couple to explore common interests and promotes teamwork. Common values also provide a strong natural connection with one another.

While most successful relationships have common values between partners, not all values need to match. It is okay to have values that are different than your partner’s values. It is also okay to care about a cause, even if your partner does not feel the same way.

It is unrealistic to assume that either partner in a relationship will adopt all of the values of the other. Values can be learned from each other. Partners can engage in and adopt their partner’s values. They can also learn to respect their partners’ values, even if they do not personally relate to them.

Commitment To Preserving The Relationship

More than anything else, commitment to the relationship holds it together. Motivation and commitment to sticking together through the fun and rough times are critical for a successful relationship. Each partner must be prepared for the challenges that come with being together. Not every moment will be filled with love and excitement. Most relationships regularly hit more challenging points. Common challenges for a relationship to experience include:

Times of tension
Disagreements
Unresolved relationship issues
Boredom
Busy schedules
Conflicting work schedules

During these times, the couple must commit to working hard to keep the relationship alive. Sometimes love and passion will be dull and difficult to maintain. In such times, it takes effort and patience to preserve the quality of the relationship.

Sharing Complementary Life Goals

Being on the same page about life goals is an important part of having a strong relationship. Having similar life goals is important, and supporting each other’s life goals will be a huge factor to consider when determining the strength of your relationship.

In many cases, different goals can complement each other. As long as the bigger picture is similar for both partners or is created with both partners in mind, the relationship has the potential for success.

Partners in a relationship do not need identical life goals to be compatible. Each partner’s life goals can complement each other. The bigger picture of what each partner wants the future to look like is what is essential. Just like how both partners do not need to have identical values, they also do not need to be on the same path. Similarly, partners with life goals that will lead them in different directions face unique challenges in maintaining their relationship.

Example: If one partner wants a family, and the other wants a life of travel, the relationship may struggle to survive. The two partners have conflicting goals because they want different life experiences. Finding a middle ground between the two can be challenging, but not impossible. There is room for compromise in such situations. The differing goals and outcomes of those goals will play a major role in predicting the quality of the relationship.

Love, passion, and intimacy are needed in a successful relationship. However, the experience of each of these is often fleeting. Passion comes in temporary moments. Intimacy changes in waves of ebbs and flows. Love is something that needs to be worked for and maintained. A healthy relationship dynamic is something that takes effort from both partners. It also takes tolerance for the times when love is not so passionate, and lust has dulled. That is why love alone is not the only predictor of the quality of a healthy romantic relationship.